Spring 2014 has Sprung!

As per bloody usual, Mama and Papa have been off without me over the last week. They keep claiming the weather has turned bad. I sometimes think they are lying to me, but sometimes it's plausible as they have come home wet from the rain.

This morning they went out to the shops, and when they got back they were beaming!

'Holey Moley Barney, you won't believe how nice the weather is today! AND, its the first day of SPRING!!'

I thought they were going a bit over the top, but then I remembered, nice weather = picnic season....FUCK YEA!

So I got really excited and started jumping about - 'Take me out, take me out, take me out'. And so they did. :)

We went for a walk around our neighbourhood, and bloody hell it was a nice day. 21 degrees outside, so sunny and so warm compared to how it has been.

In my excitement I had forgotten to bring a drink with me and I was overheating.

In our neighbourhood is Berlin's biggest second hand clothing store, Humana, so we went to check it out.

 Inside this 1950's building there is no air-conditioning. I was dying of heatstroke in there.

Multi-story, stuffy and not much stuff for dogs. I was losing interest. Panting like crazy, we found an open window on the fourth floor...phew I loved the breeze - and the view of my 'hood.

I managed to cool down a bit and I played with Papa, mucking around with all the stuff they have there...

I didn't find anything for me there, but while Mama tried on some DDR era stuff, I checked out this handsome fella in the mirror. heheh.

Back outside I stopped to talk to a few friends.

All the neighbourhood dogs had got word of the spring weather and we were all out enjoying the sun. This big guy told me he got caught in the rain yesterday so he was happy to have a day in the sun instead.

Marvellous!

Caution Dangerous Pomeranian

People have been busting my chops lately 'Why so quiet Barney?'

Well, the truth is that I have been a bit crook, sick, poorly, whatever you want to call it. Nothing life threatening but just not myself, sore guts and some bad food choices.

It all started after Valentines Day I guess. Maybe the cold and maybe too much food. I just felt bloated. I had no energy. All I wanted to do was sleep.

And then this week, woo hoo! I was feeling so much better and I was finally able to say to Mama and Papa - let's go out! And we did, back to strutting about town for a couple of days. And then disaster again...Sauerkraut!

I'd never had it before, and Mama and Papa didn't think it through before giving it to me. Partly my fault I guess because I stare them out during dinner and bark until Mama gives me some of whatever she's eating.

Back to the Sauerkraut - have you ever had this shit? I found out later it's 'chopped pickled cabbage'...the only thing even remotely appetising about those three words is 'chopped'.

So I didn't know better and wolfed down the bit I was given. A bit sour, but mixed with potato it was okay. But, later on in the evening, ooohh my guts were rumbling something fierce. I'd never felt like this before. I'd go to the toilet and nothing, just rumbles. I was so uncomfortable. This went on all night, even after we went to bed, constantly begging Mama or Papa to take me to the toilet, and NADA!

We all went back to bed each time and I tried to sleep it off, but at 3:30 am I had the jack of it and said 'NUP, I AIN'T HAVING THIS NO MORE!'. I woke Papa up and said 'You better let me out there pal...something's about to happen!'

So we went out to the bathroom and I walked in some circles but it wasn't coming, I thought maybe a walk around the living room will do it and yep...BAAARRFF. I almost got it on the carpet but Papa pushed me off last minute. It wasn't pretty, looked like my lungs and innards had come out. Bloody hell I felt better after that - though I did need a few days to recover as my sleep and appetite was all off.

Which brings us to today...I am back in fine form and the weather outside is unbelievable for this time of year, about 17 degrees and clear sunny skies.

We went for a walk around our neighbourhood and hung about by the train tracks. Near there is a big bulk items store where Papa had another of his 'hilarious' photo set ups with me. Groan.

The sign says - 'Vorsicht Gefährlicher Hund' which means 'Caution dangerous dog'. Good one Papa...another gold parenting moment. 

When I see a sign that says 'Caution Unfunny Person' I'll take a photo of him next to it. Pah!

Aside from the stupid photo, it was a glorious day and I was so happy to be back to normal!

We finished our walk by hanging out at the train tracks and skate park thing with the cool dudes.

I'm back!

Valentines Day Walkies 2014

So apparently today was Valentines Day. Bleh, who cares.

Mama and Papa took me with them for some stupid 'love lock' ceremony (you can read their boring story Valentines Day 2014).

So, I'm standing on this bridge while they do their stupid thing totally ignoring me, when I see this guy coming toward me. Oh fuck, its Mario, a guy I've met before. He's a super sweet special needs guy that goes goo-goo over me. He loves to pick me up. Last time he almost dropped me.

So he grabbed me again, he asks Mama and Papa if he can pick me up first, but he's already in the process of doing it while asking! How about ask me first!!

It's nice to get the attention though and Mario is so happy to cuddle me.

Papa made sure Mario handed me back to him, rather than almost drop me on my head like last time. Mario was so chuffed and we said goodbye.

Once Mama and Papa had finished their love bullshit, we went for a walk through Kreuzberg. Another lovely day in beautiful Berlin. They said, 'Hey Barn, its your special day too what do you want to do?'

'Coffee and something to eat!!!'

So we went for a bit of a walk and found a cafe where I could sit down with Mama. I like these brunchy-type afternoons

Here I had my coffee,  a marzipan croissant and a cheese pastry thing.

Only thing though, people passing by would stare at me with confusion on their face. Haven't they seen a dog on a bench drinking coffee and eating croissants before? Geez.

Snow is not always my friend

Usually I love snow. Love love love it. Love walking in it, love playing in it. Love peeing on it.

And this week we had a great snowfall. So nice outside and I was even let of the lead for a bit - until I ran away then they kept closer hold of me.

Look how nice it was earlier this week...

So nice and white and snowy and fun.

So for the next few days I would ask Mama and Papa - 'Can I come out in the snow again today'. Everyday I asked and everyday they said 'No'. I was pissed. 'Why NOT?!' and they would say, 'It's not as nice as you think out there Barney, it hasn't snowed since the nice day, now it's just cold and dirty and mushy crap'.

I didn't believe them. This morning I woke them up...'I WANT TO GO OUT TODAY'. They said 'Okay Barney, but we warned you...it's not as nice as you think out there'.

And we went out. I was excited at first but then it turned out they were right. I hate admitting that, but they were. The nice snow was gone and the footpaths were just either mush or ice with grit on top. Not nice for my feet. Shit was getting stuck in my paws and it was making the whole of my body so cold.

I looked at Mama and said 'I think I need to be picked up, I can't feel my legs'.

She picked me up and said 'Okay Barney, we'll go home now'.

But then Papa pipes up, 'Hey, look at that sign Barney, lets get a photo with you and your lead tied to it'

'Why' I said.

'Because the sign says that dogs need to be on the lead here and it will be funny if we take it literally and actually put your lead on the sign'. He said.

Needless to say, I did NOT think his literal take on the sign was funny. AT. ALL.

I regretted begging to come out today. Look at my face, that's not a dog that's enjoying his walk.

No way, not today.

New snow or NO SNOW...that's my new motto.

The snow is back!

Mama and Papa went out on Monday (without me) and when they came back they said 'Wow Barney, you don't want to be out there, its SO cold and icy - you would hate it!'

It did sound shit outside so I was happy to stay in and relax.

On Tuesday they went out again (without me) and when they came back they said 'Wow Barney, there's SNOW everywhere, the whole city looks like it has been dusted in icing sugar!!'

Oh man...I like snow, I felt so left out. 'Why didn't you take me with you?' I said. 'We had shit to do and you aren't allowed in the place we had to go'.

Pfft, so offended.

So today I woke up and had a look outside. Still snow everywhere. I ran to bed and woke them up 'Do you have shit to do today?'

'Nope' they said...'but we'd like to keep sleeping!'

'You can sleep later, take me to the snow PLLLEEAAASSSEEE'.

So with my enthusiasm they got me dressed up in the snow suit Auntie Tone gave me and we went for a walk. Phew it was fresh outside.

Things smell different, but I can still tell that my 'kind' have been here before...

and I had to check out the bushes...

And Papa and I stood outside the supermarket as Mama got some stuff...

And back in our Hof courtyard I jumped in the garden to smell everything there too....

Mama and Papa were all like 'Oh Barney must you'...and I'm like 'I'm in the fucking snow suit, I can do this shit and not get dirty'...I was having fun and they just want to put a downer on it all.

So I came out of the 'foliage' and guess what - I was CLEAN!! YEA!

I love the snow, and my snow suit keeps the olds off my back about getting dirty.

Wooo Hooo, the snow is back!

Der Große Bunkerberg

It's been a little while since I've been out and about for a decent walk. So today I said to Mama and Papa 'LET'S GO WALKIES!'

'Where to?' they asked, and I said 'Let's go to the Volkspark Friedrichshain and climb the big bunker mountain thing'...'okay' they said.

So off we went, a reasonable walk to the Friedrichshain park and quite a nice day too. Now, what is this bunker thing? Well, at this park are two 'hills' which were formerly anti-aircraft towers built for some scuffle the Germans had with some other countries a million years ago.

Since that snafu was settled, the flak towers were destroyed and covered over in rubble and earth. Now they appear to be natural hills with trees all over.

In our local park there are two of this hills, a 'small' one and a 'big' one. We'd been to the top of the small one before and so now we went to the big one.

I was surprised when we got to the big hill that Papa let me off the leash. They never usually let me do that. I though 'wow, they are really trusting me, I'll be good for them and stay close by'.

I felt so happy being off the leash, being part of 'the team' rather than being pulled in whichever way THEY want to go.

Then as I was walking up a long line of steps I heard Papa say to Mama 'so yea, he can't really run away from us coz there's only this path and nowhere else to go...'

Fuckers. They still don't trust me.

So I ran off.

But I got tired quickly and they caught up with me and put me back on the leash. Bah. 

Up the top of the Große Bunkerberg is was quite muddy as we had some rain overnight - so being back on the lead was no biggie - Papa needed to carry me over the crap anyway. I said that they better put me on the ledge for a photo, and then we could go.

We went back down the hill on another path, and apart from some concrete sticking out of the ground, you would never realise that this thing was a former flak tower! Pretty cool eh.

 It was quite a big walk for me, so I recommended that we go home. It was getting dark and cold and I was knackered.

I think it was a pretty good suggestion from me to go there, they seemed to enjoy it and I liked being off the lead (until I realised they still don't trust me).

Good on me. Suggestion King.

New Years Eve - I don't care for it

So we've had a friend stay with us recently, which you can read about in Mama and Papa's blog Mark Visits.

He came to see us, sightsee in Berlin and take part in Berlin's 'crazy' New Years celebrations.

I fucking hate New Years Eve, which you may have read from last year, in my stories Who is Silvester? and Parenting.

This year on New Years Eve, Papa told me that they were going out for a party and I'd be alone. I said 'That's cool with me'.

But..

Then Papa says, 'I know you haven't been out all day, so I'll take you for a run around the block and you will get to see that there is nothing to be afraid of.'

I didn't think it was a good idea, but he said it would be for the best.

So we get all dressed up to go outside and once out on the street he starts running. 'What the fuck is this?' I thought, we don't run. We just don't.

And just as I'm thinking this, BANG!, we ran over something that exploded. Papa and I both shout out 'Fuck, what was that' and we look back to see a little child and his dad setting off fireworks on the footpath.

We slow to a brisk walk and Papa says to me 'Wow, I didn't see that one' and I said, 'Yea, coz we were fucking running, dickhead' Geez.

I was packing it by now, but instead of going home, Papa decides to head up to Frankfurter Tor - where people are going crazy already with their fireworks. I'm pretty scared at this point...I mean take a look at my fur - I'm fucking flammable!

He picks me up at this point, I'm shaking with fear and he says 'Maybe we better go home'. No shit.

Back at home we get behind the front door of our apartment block - safe behind the metal and glass. I'm still freaking out.

Papa says, 'Don't worry, you are safe now' and I am relieved to be back on my own turf, away from these pyromaniacal morons.

'Take me inside, let me hide'.

Back in my pad I crashed from physical and emotional exhaustion. I guess he was right in one way - as I was so tired I slept through most of the evening (once they pissed off to their party) and listened to all those bombs going off outside from my bed.

I'm glad this shit is over for another year.