Sumbitch of a bone

So, two months ago today Mama and Papa went to their rock-and-roll mega weekend.

When they left the house they said 'Barney, we are going out and will be gone for quite a long time'.

'So' I said.

'Well, to give you something to do we got you a new bone to chew on'. They said.

Getting a new bone is no new thing. I usually get these little things and knock them off in a day or two. I can break any toy in minutes or less, and I can put away food quick too. The news of some pissy bone was no biggie for me and they could see I was unimpressed.

'Barney, wait before you pre-judge, check out THIS bone!'

This intrigued me somewhat so I sat down and got excited. Where the fuck is it already?

'Here you go' they said.

Hmmm, looked sorta big, but I couldn't see with it in the packaging.

I unpacked it and yea, it was pretty big! I ran to my bed to get to work on it. They left for their concerts and I thought 'I'll show them that they can't defeat me, I'll finish this thing before they even get back'.

Well, I was wrong. I've been working on this 'sumbitch of a bone for like 10 - 30 minuted per day for the last two months.

Here's a pic of me still going on the thing two months to the day later. This thing is driving me fucking crazy.

I'm like almost half way there. Fuck my jaw is tired.

Sumbitch of a bone. Bah!

I am 9 today!

Okay, listen up, I turned 9 today!

When I woke up, Mama and Papa made a big deal about me (as they should!) and then I got an embarrassing birthday crown to wear. Hilarious, I wore it with pride for as long as I could...but Papa made it and it kept falling off my head. He's not a hat maker, but he loves me and that's what counts.

To celebrate my birthday they asked me 'Barney, what would you like to do today?'

I said 'It's Saturday right? Let's go to the markets at Boxhagener Platz' (they are my favourite markets).

So they said that wasn't a problem and we went out straight away.

The weather was beautiful and it was so nice to be out and about in this great dog friendly city and the great weather.

The markets were so nice too.

After the markets, Mama and Papa said 'Barney, there is a beer festival on today, do you want to go there?'

'Fuck yea' I said.

So we went. So cool.

After that I said I was ready to go home to chill out. They said no problems but that they wanted to stop off somewhere first. Okay...we stopped off as Papa went inside the shop to get something. He didn't say what it was.

Back at home, Papa unwrapped what he had bought at the shops...it was some cake for me!!

How good was that!!

It didn't take me long to knock it all off. Apparently it was called a Kirschen Plotzer Kuchen. It was a very tasty cherry cake. Yummmm.

After all that and a great birthday I took my leave to have a nap. I am 9 after all...and proud of it.

Picnic Season

Okay okay, so I haven't been writing much lately. That's because I've been living my life...living THE life!

And what's the life?, well for me its been PICNIC SEASON!

The weather has been fucking lovely, sometimes a bit hot, but I always get looked after.

Take for example this picnic we had at Tempelhof Airport, in Tempelhof of course.

We were out in the middle (well not quite) of the field and because it used to be an airport there aren't any trees for shade there. But Mama and Papa brought me some shade and my water. So I was happy.

Mama wanted out of the sun too, even though she had a hat and no one else did, she wanted more shade. We both sought relief and were happy. Fuck the others. They should have come properly prepared.

I made some new friends and of course everyone loves me.

We had another picnic at a local park near us. Much cooler weather so no need for shade. It actually rained a bit but it didn't put out the fire in our grill.

And another week we went to the Turkish markets in Kreuzberg, picked up some bread and dips and then went to Görlitzer Park. It was also nice weather with not too much sun and no rain. Notice how I have the good picnic blanket all to myself and the others have nothing? hahaha. Eventually Mama and Papa made me share. I didn't mind, I spilt water over the rug and tried to blame it on Papa. Everyone knew it was me though, so I sat away from the scene of the crime for the rest of the picnic.

So, I have been having a great picnic season. The weather is turning colder and wetter now so I wonder if we will be able to squeeze any more in before it is too late...I hope so.

Party night with the gang

Mama and Papa had left me alone all day and I was feeling lonely. It's not unusual for them to go out and leave me home, but they were gone for fucking ages. I worry about them. I was happy when they got home and told me I was coming out with them for party night.

First stop was off to Tom & Danikas place to meet up and grab a drink. Then we got the train to Kreuzberg to get some dinner. Everyone had a roadie from the Spätkauf (late night shop) which is totally legit in Berlin.

Dinner was at Hühnerhaus, literal translation 'Chicken House' and it sells chicken. Duh. This was a good meal and everyone was giving me sneaky feeds under the table.

After dinner we walked to a bar / restaurant which is on the river spree called the Freischwimmer. It was a bit of a walk so I got photos with everyone on the way.

With the walk still in progress it was time for a rest at another Spätkauf for refills. I sat outside with Danika.

And had some laughs with Jack.

And then got the group shot outside the Späti once everyone had reloaded.

Not long after that we were at the Freischwimmer. We got seated quickly on the tables that run along the river. The waitress immediately got my drink first - she know's who is most important.

The night was going great, and me and Papa had some laughs...

And me and Jack were back at it again playing drinking games.

Then it was getting a bit silly. If you can't read it, Papa's watch says 1:17am.

It was getting late for me so I went back to ground level to re-hydrate...

And pass out.

We left the Freischwimmer and I took a moment to look over the Spree river at the Oberbaumbrücke.

Then I thought, Hey Gang, lets get a photo here!

And then I thought, maybe the buskers want photos with me too, like these guys...

And this guy....

It was late now...like too late for me. I was fucking tired. Time to go home.

It was a magic night. I can't remember how I got home :)

Sharon and Ross visit

So - we have all been looking forward to seeing Sharon and Ross.

They came to see us here in Berlin as they started on a European holiday. When they got here Mama and Papa went to see them, brought them back to my place so I could say hi and then we went for a walk.

Typically it fucking rained as soon as we left the house. This is no fun for me. We posed for a snap and I said you better get me home.

A couple of days later Mama and Papa went out with Sharon and Ross for dinner, but didn't invite me...RUDE. I only meant when it wasn't raining that I didn't want to go out.

They showed me the pics of dinner back home.

Look at them having a good time without me.

I bet they were having a good old laugh at me being at home without them, living it up while I am all alone.

And look at that food - I could have been helping out with that!

I said, it's nice weather tomorrow - let's go out to a park all together, I'd love to spend more time with them and show them my city.

'Ummm...Barney' they said, 'They are leaving tomorrow, we won't see them again this time'.

WHAT!

I didn't get to say good bye.

Sometimes I feel invisible and unloved when they leave me out of things like this. I got feelings too you know.

Well Sharon and Ross...I would have told you in dog/person if I had the chance, but anyway, I hope you have a good trip. Auf Wiedersehen!

John comes to see me

My mate John, from Australia, came to Berlin to see me. I am pretty sure I am the only reason he came on holiday. He did go to see some other places first though.

I hadn't had much time to recover from my Holland and Germany trip, but I was excited to see Johnny when he came to Berlin a couple of days after we had returned.

We spent lots of time together and had some laughs.

I am going to miss him :(

Safe travels buddy.

Catching up on travel memoirs of Holland and Germany

I know, I know, I know! its been fucking ages since I last wrote. Not my fault.

Unbeknownst to me, we were going on a road trip. No one had told me this. One day I'm going to bed as usual, and the next day Mama and Papa have gone out, collected a car, packed all our shit, and then chucked it all (and me) in the car for a road trip.

Whoa - what the fuck? They should run this shit by me first.

Anyway, I thought this could be an interesting thing for me to write about. We had a massive drive - the longest for me ever. This was so tiring. Then when we got to Holland it got weird. Mama started talking a different language, I met two new dogs and then we moved to a huge dolls house in a garden.

I said to Papa, 'I need to get on the internet to write about my travels'
Papa said 'There isn't any internet here'.

WHAT? NO INTERNET? What is this? the middle fucking ages?

That pissed me off, but it was late and after a long day we all needed some sleep.

The place was weird, with the sleeping area up in an attic space with a ladder much to steep for me to climb. I was left downstairs as Mama and Papa went upstairs to sleep in their sleeping bags.

It was already cold in this doll house but it just kept getting colder. I was still pissed about the no internet situation so I wasn't speaking to Papa. He can go sleep upstairs without me for all I cared. I will brave the cold on my own.

It got colder and colder and colder. I never felt so cold. I started to sing to myself to take my mind off it.

'I'm walking on sunshine, Woo ohhh, I'm walking on sunshine, Wooo ohh'.

It wasn't working, and when I got to the bit 'And don't it feel good!' I'm ashamed to admit that I started to cry...loudly. I was so cold I thought I was going to die. I couldn't breathe properly, I couldn't see, and I was frozen stiff. All I could do was cry.

Papa came to get me and the warmth of his body was so comforting. He took me up the ladder and I nuzzled in between their sleeping bags. It was still cool, but I was happy, warmer. And don't it feel good!

Thankfully we moved out of the middle ages and into a proper house after about 10 days in the doll house. We had internet here, but Mama and Papa said I wasn't allowed to use the computer. They said they needed the computer for the trip and couldn't afford for me to break it. How humiliating. 

They said I could use it once we got back to Berlin. And guess what, when we got back to Berlin I found out that Papa had already written all about our holiday, stealing all my thunder. How rude.

Seeing as he already wrote about our trip I guess that saves me some work :)

What I can say though is, Holland, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THESE STEEP STEPS? It's bullshit how steep everything is. How am I supposed to get up and down the levels?

My other issue in Holland was that I had to share the house with two other dogs and a cat. The big dog, Moos, I didn't care for. I growled at him when he was near Papa - I didn't trust him. The little one, Sammy, he was okay, except he stole my red ball and I wasn't cool with that. I barely saw the cat and we never spoke.

We sometimes ate together, which was tense for all of us as we made sure no one else stole our food.

And we went for walks three times a day.

We went out lots during this trip, and it was so tiring for me.

We left Holland and they told me we were going back to Germany. Woo Hoo! 'Berlin?' I said.

No - the Black Forest. WTF. Another long drive. Very tiring for me.

The Black Forest was okay, but at one point they tied me to a 'Dog Parking Spot' as they went shopping. RUDE!

Unfortunately the weather was so shit the whole time we were away. The good thing was that I was with Mama and Papa 24 hours a day! (Although they can be very tiring). 

In Triberg I met another dog like me. Except they were uglier. Stuck up too.  it laughed at me for being on a lead. I shouted back 'Your owner doesn't care about you and hopes you will run away'. We didn't get friendly.

Heidelberg was my favourite where I scored some schnitzel and chips;

And some food from a stranger;

And chilled out overlooking the beautiful city with a drink.

The weather in Nuremberg was too shit to enjoy the place. A pair of dogs came up to me to ask for my phone number so we could hang out. I said I was only cruising through town so it was a no-can-do.

In Opa's birth town I met some strange animals - Ente they were called. Strange strange strange. I wasn't allowed near them.

Dresden was a nice place, but I was super tired and wanted to go home.

So by now I was over it. 'TAKE ME HOME TO BERLIN' I said.

And they did. 

I slept all the way.

We got home and finally, my own bed again! I was so happy.

It was an interesting trip, but I was so happy to be home. There was too much disruption to my life, too much walking and not enough sleeping.

I slept the whole of the next day. 

I love my bed.