Bike Walk

Papa has come up with a new term in our household - 'bikewalking'.

He decided upon this when he and Mama got frustrated with me mucking around in the house.

'You've got too much energy young man!' they kept shouting at me. They discussed amongst themselves what to do and then Papa had an idea, 'I'm going to take him for a bike walk'.

'What the fuck is that?' I asked.

'You are about to find out'. 

So he gets me dressed up in all the usual lead and collar crap and we go outside. But he get's his bike out.

'What's going on here man?', I said, 'I don't want to go in the bag again today!'.

'Nup, no bag Barn - I'm riding, you are running'.

That sounded pretty good to me as I don't get to run that much. Apparently I can't be trusted off the leash.

This was actually really good! Usually I am pulling them along as we walk, but this time he was riding as fast as I wanted to run.

And like the wind I ran!...

But then after about 100 metres I completely ran out of steam.

 I am embarrassingly unfit.

I saw a dog on the side of the street and he ran over to say hi. I stopped running immediately. Papa told me not to do that again.

I had a quick chat with this guy, but his owner wasn't keen to let the dog socialise with an athlete like me, so they left pretty quick.

Papa and I kept running, but I was pooped and he could tell I needed to stop.

For some reason he thought the bike basket was a good place to rest.

It's not very comfortable, but at that point I could have passed out anywhere.

After I got my breath back we went slowly home.

I dunno about this bike walking business. I love running, but I've realised I'm not quite fit enough to do it for long. As long as Papa can work out when I am tired maybe it will be a good thing. But I'm bloody knackered now and don't want to do anything for a few days.

Turkish Markets Monkey Business

Papa said yesterday was supposed to be the only nice weather for the week. He lied. I got up this morning and it was sunny (not cloudy and rainy like he said) and the weather man said it was 21 degrees again!

I said 'Let's get out there!'

They said no probs, their friends were dog sitting and they had arranged a meet and greet between the dog (Monkey) and me at the Turkish markets.

The thing is, the markets is a bit of a ways away from our place and I said I didn't want to walk all that way. Papa said we could go on the bikes, but that would mean I'd have to go in the bag again - like last years efforts for my one year anniversary in Berlin. I said 'C'mon, its so nice outside, I don't wanna go in the bag...work something else out'.

Papa said, okay, I'll hold you and we'll see how that goes. And so he did. It was a bit hairy, but he's a good rider and strong as an ox. It was just a bit uncomfortable and tiring, but LOTS of fun.

Before going to the markets, we met up with Monkey at a cafe. It was an awkward first meet...

But we gots to chattin' and he was a good sort...so we became buds.

From the cafe we went to the market and it was SO busy. Far too busy for me and Monkey to walk down the main stall areas, so Papa took us in the middle bit - and we mucked around together for a while.

And a while, and a while, waiting for the shoppers to finish. Where the fuck was Mama... Me and Monkey had enough by now.

Finally they were all done. We said goodbye to Monkey and his temporary Mama, and headed home. Papa said, okay Barney, how do you want to do this...I got three options 1) hold again, 2) the bag or 3) you can run alongside me.

I thought about it for a moment and decided - Bugger it! a run would be nice.

I didn't factor in that he was on a bike and going quicker than usual. I was stuffed after just one minute.

'You better put me in the bag' I said.

'It will be hot' he said.

'I don't care. I'm tired. I want to go home'.

So he put me in the bag.

Another miscalculation on my part. Fuck it got hot in there. And the whole time we were riding home, Papa was saying...'Can you believe it's T-shirt weather already?!'....hmmm, hardly bundled in a black bag weather.
At least we were home in no time. Cool cool home.

Spring 2014 has Sprung!

As per bloody usual, Mama and Papa have been off without me over the last week. They keep claiming the weather has turned bad. I sometimes think they are lying to me, but sometimes it's plausible as they have come home wet from the rain.

This morning they went out to the shops, and when they got back they were beaming!

'Holey Moley Barney, you won't believe how nice the weather is today! AND, its the first day of SPRING!!'

I thought they were going a bit over the top, but then I remembered, nice weather = picnic season....FUCK YEA!

So I got really excited and started jumping about - 'Take me out, take me out, take me out'. And so they did. :)

We went for a walk around our neighbourhood, and bloody hell it was a nice day. 21 degrees outside, so sunny and so warm compared to how it has been.

In my excitement I had forgotten to bring a drink with me and I was overheating.

In our neighbourhood is Berlin's biggest second hand clothing store, Humana, so we went to check it out.

 Inside this 1950's building there is no air-conditioning. I was dying of heatstroke in there.

Multi-story, stuffy and not much stuff for dogs. I was losing interest. Panting like crazy, we found an open window on the fourth floor...phew I loved the breeze - and the view of my 'hood.

I managed to cool down a bit and I played with Papa, mucking around with all the stuff they have there...

I didn't find anything for me there, but while Mama tried on some DDR era stuff, I checked out this handsome fella in the mirror. heheh.

Back outside I stopped to talk to a few friends.

All the neighbourhood dogs had got word of the spring weather and we were all out enjoying the sun. This big guy told me he got caught in the rain yesterday so he was happy to have a day in the sun instead.

Marvellous!

Caution Dangerous Pomeranian

People have been busting my chops lately 'Why so quiet Barney?'

Well, the truth is that I have been a bit crook, sick, poorly, whatever you want to call it. Nothing life threatening but just not myself, sore guts and some bad food choices.

It all started after Valentines Day I guess. Maybe the cold and maybe too much food. I just felt bloated. I had no energy. All I wanted to do was sleep.

And then this week, woo hoo! I was feeling so much better and I was finally able to say to Mama and Papa - let's go out! And we did, back to strutting about town for a couple of days. And then disaster again...Sauerkraut!

I'd never had it before, and Mama and Papa didn't think it through before giving it to me. Partly my fault I guess because I stare them out during dinner and bark until Mama gives me some of whatever she's eating.

Back to the Sauerkraut - have you ever had this shit? I found out later it's 'chopped pickled cabbage'...the only thing even remotely appetising about those three words is 'chopped'.

So I didn't know better and wolfed down the bit I was given. A bit sour, but mixed with potato it was okay. But, later on in the evening, ooohh my guts were rumbling something fierce. I'd never felt like this before. I'd go to the toilet and nothing, just rumbles. I was so uncomfortable. This went on all night, even after we went to bed, constantly begging Mama or Papa to take me to the toilet, and NADA!

We all went back to bed each time and I tried to sleep it off, but at 3:30 am I had the jack of it and said 'NUP, I AIN'T HAVING THIS NO MORE!'. I woke Papa up and said 'You better let me out there pal...something's about to happen!'

So we went out to the bathroom and I walked in some circles but it wasn't coming, I thought maybe a walk around the living room will do it and yep...BAAARRFF. I almost got it on the carpet but Papa pushed me off last minute. It wasn't pretty, looked like my lungs and innards had come out. Bloody hell I felt better after that - though I did need a few days to recover as my sleep and appetite was all off.

Which brings us to today...I am back in fine form and the weather outside is unbelievable for this time of year, about 17 degrees and clear sunny skies.

We went for a walk around our neighbourhood and hung about by the train tracks. Near there is a big bulk items store where Papa had another of his 'hilarious' photo set ups with me. Groan.

The sign says - 'Vorsicht Gefährlicher Hund' which means 'Caution dangerous dog'. Good one Papa...another gold parenting moment. 

When I see a sign that says 'Caution Unfunny Person' I'll take a photo of him next to it. Pah!

Aside from the stupid photo, it was a glorious day and I was so happy to be back to normal!

We finished our walk by hanging out at the train tracks and skate park thing with the cool dudes.

I'm back!

Valentines Day Walkies 2014

So apparently today was Valentines Day. Bleh, who cares.

Mama and Papa took me with them for some stupid 'love lock' ceremony (you can read their boring story Valentines Day 2014).

So, I'm standing on this bridge while they do their stupid thing totally ignoring me, when I see this guy coming toward me. Oh fuck, its Mario, a guy I've met before. He's a super sweet special needs guy that goes goo-goo over me. He loves to pick me up. Last time he almost dropped me.

So he grabbed me again, he asks Mama and Papa if he can pick me up first, but he's already in the process of doing it while asking! How about ask me first!!

It's nice to get the attention though and Mario is so happy to cuddle me.

Papa made sure Mario handed me back to him, rather than almost drop me on my head like last time. Mario was so chuffed and we said goodbye.

Once Mama and Papa had finished their love bullshit, we went for a walk through Kreuzberg. Another lovely day in beautiful Berlin. They said, 'Hey Barn, its your special day too what do you want to do?'

'Coffee and something to eat!!!'

So we went for a bit of a walk and found a cafe where I could sit down with Mama. I like these brunchy-type afternoons

Here I had my coffee,  a marzipan croissant and a cheese pastry thing.

Only thing though, people passing by would stare at me with confusion on their face. Haven't they seen a dog on a bench drinking coffee and eating croissants before? Geez.

Snow is not always my friend

Usually I love snow. Love love love it. Love walking in it, love playing in it. Love peeing on it.

And this week we had a great snowfall. So nice outside and I was even let of the lead for a bit - until I ran away then they kept closer hold of me.

Look how nice it was earlier this week...

So nice and white and snowy and fun.

So for the next few days I would ask Mama and Papa - 'Can I come out in the snow again today'. Everyday I asked and everyday they said 'No'. I was pissed. 'Why NOT?!' and they would say, 'It's not as nice as you think out there Barney, it hasn't snowed since the nice day, now it's just cold and dirty and mushy crap'.

I didn't believe them. This morning I woke them up...'I WANT TO GO OUT TODAY'. They said 'Okay Barney, but we warned you...it's not as nice as you think out there'.

And we went out. I was excited at first but then it turned out they were right. I hate admitting that, but they were. The nice snow was gone and the footpaths were just either mush or ice with grit on top. Not nice for my feet. Shit was getting stuck in my paws and it was making the whole of my body so cold.

I looked at Mama and said 'I think I need to be picked up, I can't feel my legs'.

She picked me up and said 'Okay Barney, we'll go home now'.

But then Papa pipes up, 'Hey, look at that sign Barney, lets get a photo with you and your lead tied to it'

'Why' I said.

'Because the sign says that dogs need to be on the lead here and it will be funny if we take it literally and actually put your lead on the sign'. He said.

Needless to say, I did NOT think his literal take on the sign was funny. AT. ALL.

I regretted begging to come out today. Look at my face, that's not a dog that's enjoying his walk.

No way, not today.

New snow or NO SNOW...that's my new motto.

The snow is back!

Mama and Papa went out on Monday (without me) and when they came back they said 'Wow Barney, you don't want to be out there, its SO cold and icy - you would hate it!'

It did sound shit outside so I was happy to stay in and relax.

On Tuesday they went out again (without me) and when they came back they said 'Wow Barney, there's SNOW everywhere, the whole city looks like it has been dusted in icing sugar!!'

Oh man...I like snow, I felt so left out. 'Why didn't you take me with you?' I said. 'We had shit to do and you aren't allowed in the place we had to go'.

Pfft, so offended.

So today I woke up and had a look outside. Still snow everywhere. I ran to bed and woke them up 'Do you have shit to do today?'

'Nope' they said...'but we'd like to keep sleeping!'

'You can sleep later, take me to the snow PLLLEEAAASSSEEE'.

So with my enthusiasm they got me dressed up in the snow suit Auntie Tone gave me and we went for a walk. Phew it was fresh outside.

Things smell different, but I can still tell that my 'kind' have been here before...

and I had to check out the bushes...

And Papa and I stood outside the supermarket as Mama got some stuff...

And back in our Hof courtyard I jumped in the garden to smell everything there too....

Mama and Papa were all like 'Oh Barney must you'...and I'm like 'I'm in the fucking snow suit, I can do this shit and not get dirty'...I was having fun and they just want to put a downer on it all.

So I came out of the 'foliage' and guess what - I was CLEAN!! YEA!

I love the snow, and my snow suit keeps the olds off my back about getting dirty.

Wooo Hooo, the snow is back!