Christmas snow

Despite the title, NO, we didn't get snow on Christmas day.

But, I had a lovely Christmas thanks for asking. We had a fabulous Schweinebraten for dinner, and then I slept for the next few days - with a few walks in between.

The weather has been crap - just cold and grey - so I told Mama and Papa not to bother me until something interesting happens.

Well today it finally fucking snowed properly!

Papa said 'Get your coat on, we are going to make snowmen!'

So we went out and bloody hell it had snowed a lot overnight. Fabulous!

All my markings had been washed off the trees, so I had to remark everything again.

Did you know that in Germany, sometimes little humans get pulled along by their parents on some wooden transport device? I found this very odd...why don't we have on of these for me?

I was running low on groceries so Mama picked some up for me, and Papa and I waited outside.

So nice to be in the snow once again!

While we waited I had a chat with some other dog. He didn't seem too happy so we left him alone.

With the groceries done we went to the park to play and make snow things.

What do you think of my snow-me?

Let me tell you it was fucking cold. So I sat out the last of our play session while Mama and Papa kept making snow things.

So nice to have snow back again....but also nice to be back at home in the warmth too.

I was knackered...

And so was Mama!

Rocky Christmas Tone

No shitting, its been cold as here this past month. I've been hibernating and just deciding to stay at home.

So I was surprised when Mama and Papa came home today with this huge package. They ran inside and said "Barney Barney, its a package from Auntie Tone and Unkie B"

Fuck yea.

You can tell they love me when it cost 100 bux just to send the package to me. I'm worth it of course.

Papa kept saying the package was a 'sunofafukkenbitch' to open. I don't think that's a German word, might be Japanese but I didn't think he was learning that language.

There was lots of bubble wrap inside...

And once we got through all of that, beautiful hand made rocky road!!!!

How nice does this look eh!

There was a card too, apparently is said I shouldn't eat all the rocky road, but I don't believe it. It's mine and I might share some though.

First the quality assessment....

And then my appraisal. I think you can see that I was rather chuffed. :)

We all got into it straight away...

The little ball things flew all over the floor when Papa opened and cut the chocolate. He used that Japanese word again.

We are all a bit sick at the moment as we have eaten alot of Rocky Road already. Mmmm.

Thanks Auntie Tone and Unkie B, this was a pressie worth coming out of hibernation for :)

Mauerfall 25

So it was the 25th Anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. Mama and Papa went to get among it at the East Side Gallery. Originally they said I could come too. But then they left me behind.

Instead I had to watch it all on fucking tellie. What bullshit.

I'm 10 today!!!

To be honest, I don't keep track of time very well. That's what Mama and Papa are for.
So this morning I woke up and they were all like 'Hey happy birthday Barney!'
I was still groggy from being woken up, so it was a total surprise!

'How old am I?' I asked

'You are 10 today!'

Fuck that's old I thought. But I got distracted when they said they had a present for me.
I recognised its smell before I even unwrapped it, its the thing they hid from me earlier in the week...a NEW CHEW TOY :)

It's quite fun, I like it. It squeaks too, but its hard for me to grasp the green thing with my mouth to make the noise, so I mostly chew the ends.

Later on in the day they sang me the human birthday song and gave me a cake :)

Bloody hell that cake was rich, a cheesecake they called it. I have to sleep it off, so this entry is just a short one so that you all know that I am 10 today!

Klaus and Klarry

Okay, so this blog post is hardly timely given that we've just left summer. It's not my fault, the computer was on the fritz and Papa took so long to decide on buying a new one. But now we got one so I can tell my story...finally.

So - last year it was a fucking hot summer. These Germans do NOT know how to do air conditioning AT ALL. So for someone of my furry disposition, it was a fucking uncomfortable few months.

This year I put my paw down and said to the olds, I CANNOT GO THROUGH THAT KIND OF SUMMER AGAIN.

They said they would think about it.

A little while later a huge box arrived.  'What the fuck is that?' I asked.
'

Its for you...its a present for you Barney!' They said. 'Open it!!'

So I did, and it was a fan...woo hoo! no more sticky nights!

I got it out, turned it on and it was amazing. Loved it. I called him KLARRY.

Until I noticed that Klarry had a bend in his metal. Ohh  man, I'm a stickler for symmetry and I didn't want that bend to harsh my cool breeze mellow :(

As much as I loved Klarry, I couldn't keep my eye off his flaw.

'We've got to do something about this', and by WE I meant Papa should fix it. He got in contact with the seller and they said they would send us another one, and we could keep the old one? Fuck yea!

So a couple of days later we got the new one. We checked it over and he was perfect...I called him Klaus.

Double fan of Klaus and Klarry, it was amazing, but even I realised two is too much. So I decided to stick with Klaus and we gave Klarry to the needy.

I love Klaus.

Belated wash day

So I've been quiet you think?

Well, maybe on the blog yeah, but out in the real world I've been raising hell. Party here, party there, and picnics everywhere. I've been mad busy, enjoying the weather and the company of friends.

A party here...

 A party there...

I partied everywhere...

So SORRY, no time for blogging.

Which brings me to wash day :( Mama and Papa tell people that they wash me every two weeks - but we all know that's bullshit. We've all been partying too hard and been getting dusty and dirty from all the park chilling. So what's the point of washing if we hit up a park the next day. That's what we all thought.

And then the summer in Berlin...just....buggered ...off.

It's been shit here the past couple of weeks. No more picnics so I knew what was coming - as threatened for weeks, it was wash time.

This is always a hullabaloo. I always get caught by surprise. Forced into a quick haircut, then thrown into the shower...

Briefly dried off with a towel, then I'm allowed to go crackers for a bit to dry myself to my liking...

Then its the blow dry. I hate this bit. It's too hot for me. But Mama and Papa say it's necessary so that I don't smell like wet dog. I don't really know what the problem is...I smell fine when I'm soaked. Just leave it be?...

So the blow dry is always a struggle of wills. I can never get out of it, but I usually give Papa a bit of a reminder that I don't like it...

And then the almost final brush down where I keep getting told 'Oh Barney, look how much hair is coming off you!'. You don't think I know? Geez... 

This was just a third of what came off my coat...that's what you get when you don't brush me for a month!

Always fun and games round here.

Faking it

This week started off on a bit of an awkward note with me and Papa.

It was Monday morning and I was doing my thing, licking and exploring under the bed, when he tried to grab me out from under there. In doing so, he pinched my fur and skin and it hurt. So I bit him. He shouted at me, I growled back at him and we were both pretty stand-offish for the rest of the morning.

By lunchtime Mama and Papa said they were going out. I asked Mama (didn't dare talk to Papa) if I could come with. She said ok. Papa said 'fine, but we're bike walking'.

So we went out and man they really made me run while they were on their bikes. I was getting knackered and my arm was getting a bit sore. I thought Papa was getting revenge on me for biting him earlier.

Back at home they noticed I was limping a bit to stay off my sore arm. All of a sudden they were both really nice to me. I realised quick that it was the limp, so I really laid it on. I pretended I was extra sore and limped really badly around the house. I was getting a lot of attention, the bite from earlier was forgotten and Papa was caring for me like a champ. Ha, I was going to have some fun with this.

So the next two days I kept limping. I overheard them saying that they thought I was faking. Hmm I was going to have to play it a bit smarter.

I was still getting the special treatment but the backfire was that they would't take me outside and they were growing suspiscious. 'You need to rest' they kept saying. Shit, I wanted to go out. It was so nice outside.

So I scaled the limp back slightly, so that by Thursday when I asked to go out they said 'Okay, but just to the park over the road so you don't need to walk to far. We'll have a picnic!'

Woo Hoo. I was pretty excited. Papa made us all coffees and then we took them down to the park.

I got settled in with my coffee...

And we people watched, the sunbathers...

And a couple of girls making some drip painting...

It was getting hot, (the coffee didn't help) but I was loving it outside.

But then I was having too much trouble keeping cool, so Papa put some water over me to keep cool...

 I was really enjoying my family day in the park, so much so that when we ended the picnic and walked home I forgot my fake limp and ran all the way through the garden and up the stairs - with no limp.

The game was up.

Inside they both confronted me 'A-HA! We KNEW it!!!'

I put the limp back on for a bit but it was over. No more special treatment. Shit.

Everything has calmed down now though and we are back to normal. I was pulled out from under the bed by Papa again this morning and even though he pinched me again, I held back and didn't bite him this time.

I haven't cooked up a new scheme just yet so I need to keep everyone on my good side. I'll come up with something though :)