After reading about my frequent dirty fur outside exploits my benefactor decided to do something about it. She (Young, slim, vibrant Auntie Toni) ordered me a new snow jacket. She had read that Mama and Papa bought a non waterproof cheapie that clearly wasn't doing the job. She would fix things she told me in an email.
But then a disruption to the plan. The jacket she ordered was too small. I never saw it, but she thought it would be after seeing how I've filled out recently. So, she spoke with Mama and Papa and then ordered me another one and had it sent directly to my house here in Berlin.
Yesterday the door phone buzzer thing rang in our apartment and it was the Deutsche Post lady. Papa went to get it. All of us gathered around to open the package. We knew what it was because Auntie Toni gave us the heads up it was coming.
I was waiting to see my new jacket. Mama broke open the package and then to all our shock we saw that the thing was, how do I say, a little too big. When I say a little, I actually mean waaaaay too big. We didn't even try to put it on me as it was so clear that it was sized to fit a human or a pony.
We all had a bit of a laugh and then felt bad that Auntie Toni's efforts had come to a chuckle. And such a shame as this thing is like a onesie, I could roll around in all kinds of crap and come out squeaky clean.
Then all of a sudden Mama and Papa started measuring me, with Papa's belt. Last time they did it with a bit of paper.
It was clear now why Mama and Papa had measured me before with the paper. They had given Auntie Toni the sizes. THEY had fucked it up and now we had a hot air balloon in the house. Unbelievable. Buy a measuring tape already.
I said to them 'You fucked it up, you sort it out'. So they got in touch with Aunty Toni today and apparently are now getting something done about it. They better! I'm sorry they are such morons Aunty Toni.
I better not miss out on any walks because of this.
But then a disruption to the plan. The jacket she ordered was too small. I never saw it, but she thought it would be after seeing how I've filled out recently. So, she spoke with Mama and Papa and then ordered me another one and had it sent directly to my house here in Berlin.
Yesterday the door phone buzzer thing rang in our apartment and it was the Deutsche Post lady. Papa went to get it. All of us gathered around to open the package. We knew what it was because Auntie Toni gave us the heads up it was coming.
I was waiting to see my new jacket. Mama broke open the package and then to all our shock we saw that the thing was, how do I say, a little too big. When I say a little, I actually mean waaaaay too big. We didn't even try to put it on me as it was so clear that it was sized to fit a human or a pony.
We all had a bit of a laugh and then felt bad that Auntie Toni's efforts had come to a chuckle. And such a shame as this thing is like a onesie, I could roll around in all kinds of crap and come out squeaky clean.
Then all of a sudden Mama and Papa started measuring me, with Papa's belt. Last time they did it with a bit of paper.
It was clear now why Mama and Papa had measured me before with the paper. They had given Auntie Toni the sizes. THEY had fucked it up and now we had a hot air balloon in the house. Unbelievable. Buy a measuring tape already.
I said to them 'You fucked it up, you sort it out'. So they got in touch with Aunty Toni today and apparently are now getting something done about it. They better! I'm sorry they are such morons Aunty Toni.
I better not miss out on any walks because of this.
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