I know, I know, I know! its been fucking ages since I last wrote. Not my fault.
Unbeknownst to me, we were going on a road trip. No one had told me this. One day I'm going to bed as usual, and the next day Mama and Papa have gone out, collected a car, packed all our shit, and then chucked it all (and me) in the car for a road trip.
Whoa - what the fuck? They should run this shit by me first.
Anyway, I thought this could be an interesting thing for me to write about. We had a massive drive - the longest for me ever. This was so tiring. Then when we got to Holland it got weird. Mama started talking a different language, I met two new dogs and then we moved to a huge dolls house in a garden.
I said to Papa, 'I need to get on the internet to write about my travels'
Papa said 'There isn't any internet here'.
WHAT? NO INTERNET? What is this? the middle fucking ages?
That pissed me off, but it was late and after a long day we all needed some sleep.
The place was weird, with the sleeping area up in an attic space with a ladder much to steep for me to climb. I was left downstairs as Mama and Papa went upstairs to sleep in their sleeping bags.
It was already cold in this doll house but it just kept getting colder. I was still pissed about the no internet situation so I wasn't speaking to Papa. He can go sleep upstairs without me for all I cared. I will brave the cold on my own.
It got colder and colder and colder. I never felt so cold. I started to sing to myself to take my mind off it.
'I'm walking on sunshine, Woo ohhh, I'm walking on sunshine, Wooo ohh'.
It wasn't working, and when I got to the bit 'And don't it feel good!' I'm ashamed to admit that I started to cry...loudly. I was so cold I thought I was going to die. I couldn't breathe properly, I couldn't see, and I was frozen stiff. All I could do was cry.
Papa came to get me and the warmth of his body was so comforting. He took me up the ladder and I nuzzled in between their sleeping bags. It was still cool, but I was happy, warmer. And don't it feel good!
Thankfully we moved out of the middle ages and into a proper house after about 10 days in the doll house. We had internet here, but Mama and Papa said I wasn't allowed to use the computer. They said they needed the computer for the trip and couldn't afford for me to break it. How humiliating.
They said I could use it once we got back to Berlin. And guess what, when we got back to Berlin I found out that Papa had already written all about our holiday, stealing all my thunder. How rude.
Seeing as he already wrote about our trip I guess that saves me some work :)
What I can say though is, Holland, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THESE STEEP STEPS? It's bullshit how steep everything is. How am I supposed to get up and down the levels?
My other issue in Holland was that I had to share the house with two other dogs and a cat. The big dog, Moos, I didn't care for. I growled at him when he was near Papa - I didn't trust him. The little one, Sammy, he was okay, except he stole my red ball and I wasn't cool with that. I barely saw the cat and we never spoke.
We sometimes ate together, which was tense for all of us as we made sure no one else stole our food.
And we went for walks three times a day.
We went out lots during this trip, and it was so tiring for me.
We left Holland and they told me we were going back to Germany. Woo Hoo! 'Berlin?' I said.
No - the Black Forest. WTF. Another long drive. Very tiring for me.
The Black Forest was okay, but at one point they tied me to a 'Dog Parking Spot' as they went shopping. RUDE!
Unfortunately the weather was so shit the whole time we were away. The good thing was that I was with Mama and Papa 24 hours a day! (Although they can be very tiring).
In Triberg I met another dog like me. Except they were uglier. Stuck up too. it laughed at me for being on a lead. I shouted back 'Your owner doesn't care about you and hopes you will run away'. We didn't get friendly.
Heidelberg was my favourite where I scored some schnitzel and chips;
And some food from a stranger;
And chilled out overlooking the beautiful city with a drink.
The weather in Nuremberg was too shit to enjoy the place. A pair of dogs came up to me to ask for my phone number so we could hang out. I said I was only cruising through town so it was a no-can-do.
In Opa's birth town I met some strange animals - Ente they were called. Strange strange strange. I wasn't allowed near them.
Dresden was a nice place, but I was super tired and wanted to go home.
So by now I was over it. 'TAKE ME HOME TO BERLIN' I said.
And they did.
I slept all the way.
We got home and finally, my own bed again! I was so happy.
It was an interesting trip, but I was so happy to be home. There was too much disruption to my life, too much walking and not enough sleeping.
I slept the whole of the next day.
I love my bed.
