Who is Silvester?

All day today there has been loud bangs outside.

Later and later in the afternoon they started to get more frequent. And sooo loud!

By night time is was non-stop. I am so scared.

Ma and Pa keep telling me it is all okay.

Papa says "Get to the bunker Barney, the Russians are coming". He seems to think this is funny. Mama doesn't. I don't know what it means but its probably culturally insensitive.

Mama says its just fireworks for Silvester - New Years Eve celebrations. All I know is this scares me so much.

I'm just going to hide it out until it stops.

Going for a 'hold'

Ma and Pa took me out for a walkie today.

The weather was nice but they put my new furry jacket on. They took the hood off though.

We went back to that market they took me to last week. It was sooo much busier today, 'spose coz the weather is nicer.

I was enjoying it to start with.

But then the crowd became too much for me and I was getting stepped on.

I asked Papa to pick me up out of the way of the feet.

And then asked him to take me around the stalls. I thought about these jackets, but they weren't in my size.

We had a look at some of the other crap, but neither they or I found anything we were interested in.

I asked Papa to put me down to talk to a new friend. But his owner was too busy to let us play.

We stood back from the crowd for a bit and admired the markets and the park. Quite a nice family atmosphere, filled mostly with locals.

As we left the weather went bad and it started to rain. We soon found out that my new spiffy jacket is not waterproof. Ma and Pa must have gone cheap again. Also without my hood my head was getting wet. My fur was picking up crap from the ground. I was getting dirty again and man I was getting so grumpy.

We kept walking but I was getting wetter and dirtier as we went. 'PICK ME UP' losers, otherwise you will have to wash me again.

Daddy picked me up and we continued the walk.

They kept on their own walk, looking for an open supermarket. Apparently they were all shut, as they found out from checking out a few. Geez don't these guys know anything. Papa held me the whole way which I think was equally uncomfortable for both of us. More of a 'holdies' than a 'walkies'. What a waste of time for me.

At home I just went to sleep. Wake me up when the rain stops.

bleh

Well well well, how much did Ma and Pa spend on this new chew bone toy they gave me at 'Christmas'. Can't have been much because it was shitty shitty shit.  Whenever I chewed on it, little pieces would fall off. I thought I was supposed to eat these things. Why wouldn't you.

Soooooooooo, anyway, after a restless night I woke up with a sore tummy. Ma and Pa kept asking what was wrong but I could only give them the 'sick eyes' look. They 'monitored' me for a bit and then I went to the comfy rug and started retching.

Mama screamed and Papa shoved me off the rug. Whoa!

I couldn't hold it in anymore and spewed on the floor. It was rank yellow crap...eeeeeew. Dad took me to the bathroom and I chucked in there again too. Oh I felt so much better after that was all out.

I was still feeling a bit poorly so I told them they could go out without me today. They said 'Okay, but you can't have that bone anymore'. No protests from me on that one. Get that 'spew' toy away from me.

They went out, I had a good sleep.

When they came back they had a new present for me - a new winter warm brown hoodie!

I look so fashionable in it. It's brown colour goes with my sexy sable tones.

Check it out:

And how about with me leg out?

Watch out bitches.

I don't care man

Papa was trying to tell me where they were going to go today. He sat with me to work out the route on the U-Barney. Then he said I wasn't coming.

If I ain't going I ain't helping.

Bugger off. I'll go back to bed.

wet walkies

They got me ready for a walk today. They put my hoodie on but not my rain jacket. Papa said he put it in his backpack just in case.

We ended up walking for ages along the one street. Not much happening here.

Before I knew it, somehow I had made a mess of my front and undercarriage. I'm not sure how that happened but sheez I was a mess.

We got to some cross streets and Mama made Papa put us all on a tram to go home. Didn't take long on the tram. I had fun, the first time for me and a heap easier than walking down that boring wet street.

At home I wasn't allowed much further than the front door before I was pushed into the bathroom. They threw me in the shower clothes and all. They shut the shower doors and let me there for a while. What's this all about?

When they came back it was action stations. I got stripped down and shampoo'ed, rinsed, dried and blowaved.

It was good to get that junk out of my fur and to be nice and clean again. This was also my first wash since my epic plane journey so I was also glad to get that travel stench off me. I was pretty happy after my wash and went crazy around the house. Papa kept getting nervous when I was running all over the bedspread. Don't know why.

Later in the night they kept going on about 'Christmas'. I don't know what that is, but I scored a new toy out of it. Woo hoo!

Later suckers.

dirty looks in the bad books

It wasn't me.

Well maybe it was.

But it's not my fault.

They were watching TV so I went to play in the bedroom. I started off licking the bedspread but got carried away. I'm not admitting guilt, but there are now some holes where I was licking.

So...the parents aren't too happy with me. 'Fucking hell Barney' they kept saying, 'This isn't our shit for you to eat'.

Whose 'shit' is it if it isn't ours?

Anyway, they then exiled me, looking at the tags on the bedspread and then saying to each other 'phew at least its IKEA, should be cheap to replace'. 

Then they went to their computer to check the price for a replacement and started swearing again 'Shit, this bloody bedspread costs 49 Euros and it's not like IKEA is super close to us - Faaaaaark'.

I think I am in trouble. I pulled my cute routine to get back into the good books.

It's not working.

It's their problem now anyway.

ooooooh, so this is snow

So they get me dressed up more than usual today. My hoodie and THEN a rain jacket on top of that. A bit excessive I thought.

When we get outside the ground is totally white. WTF I thought.

I wasn't really sure what this was and started licking the ground. Tastes like water but its heaps colder. My tongue almost got stuck to the ground.

 Then out of the sky more of the white stuff is coming down. It was bouncing off my rain jacket...good call parents!

'Snow Barney, This is SNOW!' they moronically said to me again like yesterday. Oh I get it now...so this is snow. Cool!

A little further down the street Papa says "Watch out for the yellow snow Barney". Man he's an idiot, its dog pee, not snow (or does he already know that? I'm never sure with him).

Where I wasn't covered by the jacket, like my face, the snow got stuck to my fur. It is a weird feeling, but as usual I pull off the look and look even cuter. One at a time ladies, one at a time.

We finished my day out with a walk around some park and then back home.

Snow is ok with me, though I was happy to warm up back at home.

Home alone

Today the olds left without me. I have no idea where they went.

I was pretty tired anyway so I was happy to chill at the apartment. I had been outside on the balcony already this morning and it was friggin cold again. There was white dust dust falling out of the sky and turning to water on my fur.

'Snow snow Barney, this is your first SNOW!!' they kept enthusiastically telling and prodding at me. Geez they are morons sometimes. What is 'snow' anyway.

Thankfully they just left me alone and I went to sleep.

acclimatising

I was a bit out of sorts yesterday after getting home. The parents have been telling me about jet lag, and I think I have got it. I couldn't settle in this strange new apartment and spent the night off the bed, on the bed and just wandering around.

The parents are still jet lagged too so I had company.

I wasn't really sure where I could go to the toilet and was a bit slow to cotton on to what I was being told. I first pissed in the lounge room and got told off for that. About 3am I was a bit disorientate and ran down the hall and pissed on the front door. Dad was consoling but I knew he was super annoyed.

I've pretty much got hang of the toilet business now and have realised that they have got me a pee tray just like at home. Makes sense to me now, but this one is a different colour so I wasn't sure to begin with. I will try harder in future - unless I want to annoy my parents :P

So today once we all got up for real around 7am we just took it easy. I took turns to sleep on the couch and the floor. We even watched a movie from the laptop as all the TV is in German.

We mucked around at home the whole day and then they decided to show me the Friedrichshain neighbourhood. They put my hoodie on and we went walking.

Bloody hell it was cold. Minus 4 degrees papa kept telling me. Do you like your new home they kept saying on the walk. Are you kidding? its freezing and I want to get back to bed. However the place does seem pretty cool. Lots of dogs are leaving their messes on the street so there's lots of sniffing for me to do.

In our area we have a street called Simon Dachs Strasse which is apparently the highly desirable 'hip' area. It was pretty cool was bars, restaurants and little storefront shops. I think I was ruling this street in my hoodie  just like the rest of the hipster dudes.

 After our walk through the district we went to the cheapie supermarket Lidl so they could get me some supplies. Like last time I wasn't allowed in, so Papa and I had to stay outside. 

I was ok for a while but then the minus temperature really chilled me. Papa put me in his jacket and that was lots better. People walking past gave us one of two looks:L Aww that's cute, or Eww that's weird. 

I reckon I'm cute and Papa is weird. 

Apparently I've moved to Berlin

What the Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. I've just come off the longest journey of my life.
Last you heard from me I'd been abducted from my house in Perth.

Well. Let me tell you. I've been everywhere man!

First Perth to Sydney. Stayed overnight.

Then Sydney to Singapore and transited through to London for another overnight stint. Tell you what, I had no idea what was going on and I was none to pleased. What were my parents plans for me.

Today I landed in Berlin, I could tell because I speak a bit of German. But once landed things were a bit different and I sat around for ages with nothing happening.

Finally I get brought out of the cargo area and I see some legs that look familiar.

I hear them, and then they crouch down to look at me in my cage...ITS THEM!! I am so happy to see them.

They took me outside and it was bloody freezing. Lucky they had my favourite hoodie to put on me.

I was ready to get out of there and happy to have my feet on the ground finally.I took off and lead the way. I had no idea where I was going but they always show me the way anyway.

But, the travel wasn't over, we then got on a bus,

then I'm on a U-Bahn (a U-Barney as I say), then change to another U-Barney

and then a walk to my new home. We made a pit stop at a supermarket but a lady shouted at me so dad and I went back out to wait for mum.

My new apartment is nice. I immediately found my toys and sleeping rug waiting. for me. So happy to be back with my family. After dinner  I played with dad for a bit but tiredness got the better of me and I had to go to sleep.

HELP! I've been abducted

Help me!

After yesterdays strange goings on and late night we all got woken up by the alarm clocks at 6am. Ridiculous.

Parents acting strange.

Then at 6:45am mum's phone rings and we all go downstairs.

A white van pulls up.

I get thrown in a cage and abducted.

I am scared. Mum is crying. What is happening to me?

Help.

What the hell is going on?

Some strange business is up today.

With all the packing I got fed up and went to bed. But then the parents got me up at 10:30pm and put me in the shower. What gives? This is Sunday night. Bath time is strictly a Saturday morning thing.

So I got the normal shampoo and condition,

My blow wave.

I pretend to hate the whole process, but secretly I love the end result.

And after all this ruckus which was totally inconvenient for my sleep, my mum had the audacity to have a cup of tea from this cup. Unbelievable.

I don't know what's going on. Its almost midnight so I'm going to bed.

What is all this crap out here for?

What the hell is all this stuff in my living room. Why are my parents putting all their crap in boxes.

I got a bad feeling about this. Last time this happened I got shipped off somewhere while they disappeared for a year.

They better not pull that same shit again. Maybe its just a clean out and they are going to get me some new stuff.