A real Christmas tree!

This year I said, "Hey I want a real proper bloody Christmas tree!"

Mamma and Papa said - OK!

We went to one of the stalls that people set up on the streets in Berlin, but these jokers want waaay too much. Papa said that he wouldn't pay that amount.

I thought he'd put his foot down and we wouldn't get one at all, but one day he came home from work and said, "Hey everyone, get the bike, we're getting the tree!"

I wondered, "Where would we get this thing from?"

Maybe a forest, like I saw on tellie, where people go and choose and cut down their own tree. That would be cool I thought.

But we didn't walk anywhere near a forest, I knew the way. He was taking us to the fucking hardware store.

Mama parked the bike.

I was skeptical. How good could a hardware store tree be?

"Barney, you won't believe it when you go through those doors."

I didn't believe him...but went anyway. Whatever Papa.

But the guy was not kidding, far-fucking-out, there was heaps to choose from!

This is just some of them...

Me and Mamma walked the tree aisles, looking for 'the one'.

It was hard to find, good shape, straight stem and places to hang all our crap. But we got it!!! I took guard. No one was going to nick my tree!

"Check out my tree!!!" I told everyone as we pushed to the checkout...

And then we had to wait in the checkout line for the moron at the till.

And then finally out!! Woo hoo, me and my tree :) Super dooper happy.

But then I realised I had to walk because my basket was taken by the tree. Bloody tree.

And back home, through Berghain (best club) and just to our place on the other side.

Very satisfied with my tree :)

Merry Christmas 2015 people!!

Winter walks begin again

It seems I'm getting taken out for walks now more than ever before. I don't know what it is but I mostly like it.

My neighbourhood is the shit and there is always something to see.

Down at the Jaegerstube...

Seeing who has been here lately...sniff sniff

Mama and Papa think this kind of shit is adorable...its a bear, I'm a dog, what's the point?

There's always some new graffiti to check out...

and then there's fucking rain...

so we go to Humana, the best second hand shop in Berlin...

with too many fucking steps...

and idiot dogs...

even outside I need to be on my guard all the time, this white one was busting my chops. 'Piss off!' I said....

But I do love my 'hood, look at this cool view, of me, the architecture is ok too.

Here we are riding an elevator to collect a package from a neighbour...woo hoo, no steps!

and outside again, in the fucking puddles...

which leave me dirty as a mo'fo...

which means mandatory shower time, when all I wanna do is sleep. For F's sake...

Out and about again, and I need to deal with the bullshit Dogism that some shops openly display. Fuck em, I piss on their shop...

And this brings us to today...Papa says 'You'll love this Barney, it's a dog run where you can go free!'

Has he seen these thug dogs they let in here...geez I thought I was going to get eaten.

And Mama's no fucking help...on the safe side of the fence....

I had to make my own way out of there...

But that's Friedrichshain for you, danger and excitement, all in the heart of Berlin - I wouldn't have it any other way. Peace!